FINDING MY WAY

Man Against the World-Survivor

Have you ever walked the night alone

Like a man against the world?
No one takes your side,
A boat against the tide.
When your faith is shaken,
You start to break,
And your heart can't find the words.
Tossed upon the sand,
I give you a man against the world.
All the people cheer till the end is near
Then the hero takes a fall.
They'll drag you through the mud.
You're only flesh and blood.
Oh I've walked the path from dark to light
And have yet to come to terms.
Alone I take my stand,
I'm only a man against the world.
*But love!
Like a distant reminder,
It tugs at my shoulder,
It calls me home.
I shout!
Can a single voice carry?
Can I find santuary,
Within your arms?
One day when the answer's clearer,
One day when I even the score,
You'll reach and you'll find me with you,
Right beside you,
Forever more!
But for now I walk the night alone,
Like a man against the world.
A brand new day will shine,
Through the avalanche of time.
Though the road is long,
But the feeling's strong,
And the fire within still burns.
Alone I take my stand,
I give you a man against the world

This hs been one of my favorite songs since I was a teenager in the ‘80’s. It always resonated with me. I always felt back then, and for years that I was alone in the world. Sure i had friends and family, but I ever really let anybody know the real me. I don’t even know if I even knew the real me. I always felt like the outsider when I was out with friends. It didn’t help I was extremely shy, especially around women. So I dated very little and just drifted from one friend group to another, depending on what I was doing in life. Sure i had people I was close to at times,but they  always seemed drift away when my circumstances changed. One of my reactions to this was just drinking a lot. For years that is how i hid my insecurities. Things started to change somewhat  when i found the Lord again. I let Him in, but still nobody else. I didn’t think they would accept the real me, a very flawed person who was still embarrassed about his past.  Then I met my future wife at Church, I would never had met her I didn’t listen to the Lord and changed a few things in my life.  Once we really started talking after our first date, and it took me six months to ask her out, i knew she was one. I could tell her anything and I did. I let my walls down and let her inside and that was it for me.  I proposed three months later and three months after that we were married. It was a whirlwind few months. The last seventeen years flew by. I never thought she would go before me until she did.  Now once again I find myself were I started, alone in this world and once again this song seems to fit me. I am struggling in finding my pace and people once again. I know I am a father and Baba to five wonderful grandkids, but still I struggle to feel seen. I know eventually I will find my path again, I just don’t know what that will look like. ‘TILL NEXT TIME.

THE GREATONE

FATHER’S DAY 2025

 

This Father’s Day was a little bitter sweet as I conquered the first holidays without Christina. So while it was nice being with family, it still wasn’t the same.I am slowly adjusting to my new reality though. That is for another post though. So back to Father’s Day. The top picture was that last picture i had with my dad. I think this is the only picture i have of just me and him, certainly as adults. this picture was taken after i had just graduated from KU in the spring of 1993. About six months later we loose him to heart attack. He was the first tough loss of my life, but not the last unfortunately. I was closer to him the next six months than the previous 23 years before that. I am so thankful for that time i had with him at the end. I still miss him and wish he could have known my family.  ‘TILL NEXT TIME.

THE GREATONE

Road Trip

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I went on a little road trip this weekend. This was my first trip since I lost Christina three months ago. My cousin Mitch’s  son Zack got married.  That is him and his new bride Ashley during there first dance. You can actually see me in the background.it wasn’t too long after this that I almost had a break down. The whole trip just brought up a lot of emotions for me, but it was a good trip. I needed to get out of town so it helped me in that respect. I think i am going to start taking more day trip or just short weekend type trips maybe to different history museums, especially air museums. But we will see how it goes. This was at least a little step forward and i needed that.  ‘TILL NEXT TIME.

THE GREATONE

The River

 

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What a couple of weeks of rain did for the river. The top photo was a couple of weeks ago, the middle one last week and the bottom one was today.  As you can see in the third photo the river has gone some also. This area has become one of my go to places lately. One of these days i will explore some of the  walking walking trails around this area.  For now i a just content at just looking at the river. To me it is just peaceful and relaxing and lately I haven’t had a a lot of peace in my life lately. ‘TILL NEXT TIME.

THE GREATONE

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Starting Over

It has been awhile since I have written anything on here. My hope is to get back in the habit of doing this again. So stayed to tuned for updates from the Greatone!! I will say it has been a real difficult last couple of months.  If you know you why, if not I will just say a lost my wife almost three months ago. My grandkids, my dog Shinner and God are getting me through this tough time of my life. I am struggling to find new rhythms and find myself at times trying to hold onto routines i need to move on from or trying to go back to old ones had before I knew her. I know as time goes on I will start figuring out on how to live alone. Until next time.

 

Nice to see you again!

Well I think I am going to start this thing up again!  I know I have been saying this for years, but hopefully I am going to stick with it this time. I don’t know what random topics I will we talking about, but that is the fun of it!

Reset

It has been awhile since I have wrote on here. I figure it is time for a reset, not only for this blog, but for me personally. So here goes!!!!

Life has been good for the most part for the last couple of years. Definitely I have had some major ups and downs, but that is just part of life. The two things I do know is that one my lord Jesus Christ loves me and two my wife loves me. As long as I have those two things I am golden . So here is to the future.