I was setting at the coffee shop earlier today writing in my journal. The more I wrote, the more, the more of me that I poured out and the more I knew the Lord was putting it on my heart to share it here. This is what I wrote:
As I was walking today, I got to thinking about all the college kids moving in. It was 18 years ago when I went off to school. Half of my life ago. I didn't have a clue back then. In many ways I still don't. I was young and didn't have a care in the world. I wasn't jaded yet. They would come soon enough. ... The next overall years weren't good ones. Don't get me wrong , I did have some good times. But for the most part I just spiraled downward. ... I just felt like I was treading water. The more I tried the more things went wrong. ... I dealt with failure in school by just going on. I dealt with failure in my personal life by drinking more and going to strip clubs. ... To sum it up I just dealt with things by not dealing with them. I found out about this cruel world. I was jaded and a lot of the time depressed.
So were am I now? Well sometime in there I finally started seeking the Lord. That was some time in 1993. ... It took me a long time to find Him. It took another several years to start having a serious relationship with Him. But now I do. Am I were I need and should be? Not even close. All I know is that God loves me and me Him. That is all I need to know. The rest will fall into place. I still don't know were I'm going or how I'm going to get there. But I know my Lord loves me. That is enough for me.
I often wonder (and pray for at times) about people I knew back then. What would they think of me now? What are they doing? Did there path they chose to take lead them to the Lord? Most I can't even remember there names now. One lady in particular I am thinking about as I write this. When I was at KU she was always trying to get us AE students to go to a bible study. She must of seen something in me I didn't see in myself at the time. We used to make fun of her as being a "bible thumper". I think now she planted some seeds in me I didn't even know she planted. I wonder what she would think now? I do wish I would have taken her up on her offer. But then maybe I wouldn't be the man I am today. In the end I found Him and realized how much He had been taken care of me and how much I need Him. Today I am at peace.
This is a short version of my testimony. Most of you have never heard this before. Some might be surprised. One of these days maybe I will write more of it on here or you can just ask me. I didn't start out to write it, it just happened. 'TILL NEXT TIME MAY GOD'S BLESSINGS BE WITH YOU.
-THE GREAT ONE
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